Waking Up

To write or not to write, that is the question. Should I start the week off with something in my drafts, some poetry, or should I write about my week? 

Okay, let’s start with where I am. That’s a good place to start, right? 

For the most part April was a better than normal month healthwise. I had average to better health days. Then last week I hit the dreaded rough patch. 

I expect this, but when you have a better month and then you hit that slippery slope it doesn’t feel so great. Mentally I try to prepare myself. I know that my energy and mood will drop or be a little all over the place. However, no matter how much I try to tell myself to expect this it’s still an unwelcome and unpleasant experience. I’m still not out of the woods.

Last week it was as if the weather and I we’re in sync. As the sunshine turned to grey skies so did I. Then there were days that I was a bit of a mix. Morning’s were rough, but I had a few smiles. Friday morning particularly hit me hard. I groaned as I woke up. Throughout the week the sun made its appearance then it vanished again behind grey skies. There was some anxiety mixed in there too

I wrote a poem. I wrote a few poems. I also found one that I’d forgotten I’d written. I’ll share more poetry soon.   

I felt a little like the sun myself as I was covered by grey skies–not wanting to share. I wasn’t hiding. I did need a break from blogging… some time alone with my thoughts, time alone with God. It seems odd during a time of isolation to need isolation, but I can get overwhelmed by everything when my body turns the screws on me especially when it adds some anxiety and depression to the mix. 

Trying to listen to music was frustrating. A few songs helped. One of the songs that inspired me and made me smile was yet again something loud: Red’s “The War We Made” 

The line “Waking up from myself” really spoke to me as I’d just commented that I felt like I was waking up. At the time I meant how I was feeling physically, but later I wrote it into one of my poems as more of a spiritual awakening. As we grow closer to Jesus we wake up. We see things in a different light as our thoughts are transformed by the renewing of our minds–that is, reading and meditating on Scripture and putting it into practice.

Sunday’s sermon series has been about going from surviving to reviving to thriving. I feel like I’m somewhere in revival but it’s slow going. 

Have a listen to the song below if you don’t mind loud. It isn’t too loud. I like his expressive screams in this one… lol. 

The only explanation I could find for this song was on a site called Apostles That Rock. Their description was as follows:

 ‘The War We Made’ talks about our innate ability as humans to cause destruction in our own lives,” says Anthony. “A lot of the time, we don’t even realize that we ourselves are the source of the pain. And if we want to see a change brought about, it’s a fight that we have to be willing to win.”

I’d add that it’s also a fight that we don’t have to battle alone. We can share our burdens and pray for one another. We can turn to God and Scripture. He’s given us so many resources to help us get through our battles including strength of spirit if we will ask for it.  

“I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” 

Ephesians 3:16-19 (NLT)

(Photocredit goes to Pixabay.com user jplenio.)