
Yesterday was a really bad day for me. My mood was so low as depression washed over me again. I’m still not quite back to myself.
When I’m depressed my empathy can really kick into overdrive, so I was grieving for those who are worrying. I can tell when someone is losing hope. It’s very evident in their words. Suddenly my own world was feeling really dark. Depression itself is a thief of joy, making it so easy to lose sight of hope.
I want to write in a way that’s encouraging and hopeful. I want to be a light in the dark, but given the mood I was in I couldn’t see how this was even going to be possible. This only made me feel worse.
Depression makes everything more difficult. I wasn’t just experiencing empathy. I was also experiencing some apathy. It’s difficult to find inspiration, let alone hope when apathy sinks in, and forget about praying. I had no words. (I did manage to write a poem in the morning. I’ll share this on Friday. I have something else lined up for Wednesday.)
For most of the day I couldn’t even think straight. I was trying. And to be honest, I think there was a bit of anger and frustration mixed in there as well. I know what it’s like to feel as if life’s trials will never end, but I usually have hope anyways. This isn’t optimism. It’s the belief that God will help me.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
You may not be depending on God, but He is still looking out for you. I do trust in His word. I also believe in His promises, but I needed help seeing past the fog.
I ended up agitated and tearful, voiced some things to Andrew about how I was feeling and then headed for bed. He followed me and we talked some more. I struggled to explain where my head was at, and to be honest I can’t recall everything that Andrew said to me except for the last bit when he kept telling me not to let my hope fade.
When I told him that I was at a loss for what to post today, as I felt that my words aren’t helping (or aren’t going to help), he told me not to believe that lie. I really was believing a lot of lies. Then he told me to write about not losing hope.
The truth is that none of us know what’s around the next bend. If you’re not trusting God right now, at least remember what Tom Hanks said in Castaway: who knows what the tide could bring. I don’t trust in tides. I trust in God. However, I still appreciate the sentiment behind that statement: Don’t let hope fade. This is so easy to do when you’re looking at life’s waves, but those waves can and often do bring something good with them. You just have to look at things from the right perspective.
I’ve been in a tough season. It doesn’t help that the world around me is so off kilter. I can become easily overwhelmed by other people’s thoughts and feelings, but I’m going to hold onto hope. I’m also going to cling to God’s promises because I do believe that they are trustworthy. Just because this season has been long and difficult doesn’t mean that it goes on forever. I want to believe as King David did and wait on (or trust in and rely on) God.
“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.Wait on the Lord;
Psalm 27:13-14
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!”
In this world right now its easy to lose hope. But what we water is what we grow. Instead of being upset with the issues of working from home on an over taxed system I am trying to be grateful I have a job and am still earning a salary. God, Jehovah Jireh, our provider gives what we need but is that what we want? I am praying so.
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Thanks, Ronda. ❤ You had me at "What we water is what we grow." You know that I love metaphors. Being thankful and grateful is so important. That's a difficult one when apathy sets in, but God is good to help me when I am struggling.
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Heartfelt and meaningful. Thanks for writing Tina.
Here’s something I thought was relevant and felt like sharing with you. Hope you like it.
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Thank you so much for sharing. Your video is wonderful, Sophia. It made me cry. ❤ God bless you. ❤
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Hi Tina. I would request you to please post your comment on sophia’s video directly so she sees it herself, here’s the link again. God bless you.
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Oh, okay. I thought you were Sophia.
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Thanks Tina. It is such a blessing to receive acknowledgement of what you do isn’t it? and i was trying to encourage sophie to continue creating videos because she was wondering if they actually help anyone or not.
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Yes, it is. I left her a few comments on both of her videos. I feel like I need to leave her another one now.
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Certainly you will in no way lose your reward. Every blessing you share, every word of encouragement, is a seed that God is going to use to bring back increase in your own life.
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In times of uncertainty, it helps to relax and find your own special visual image to mentally focus on. A “safe resting place” that you can go to and find peace. While relaxing it is then easier to focus on prayer, and God’s whisper. Cyber hugs! 🌈🌺
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Thanks, Jeanne. That sounds like good advice. ☺ ❤
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Every time you talk about depression I know how you feel. I’ve gone through it. One thing I know about it is that it always looks for a chance to return and drag you down again. But you’re not alone, sis. 🤝🙏😊
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Awe, thanks Spacegirl. ❤ Yes, it does strike again. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. I'm actually starting to pick up again. It washes over you and then it moves on, but it sure doesn't feel like it will when you're in it. That's when you really need reminders that it's going to be okay.
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No problem-o.😊✌ Yes, I understand that feeling. Hasn’t been too long since, actually. You’ve got others in this boat, sis, so keep on rowing. Know who our captain is. ☺
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I will indeed! But why isn’t anyone else rowing? I’m telling the Captain! 😮 Kidding… Help me bail this water. We’ve sprung a leak!
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Lol, and here I was trying to be all deep and encouraging. 😂 You funny.
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You were. You were. I appreciate that, too. But apparently when I start to feel better I swing the other way and get too happy and jokey. 😮
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I gotcha. 😉 You be happy and jokey.
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It wore off. It started wearing off last night. It’s a good thing though. If I were that happy and jokey all the time I would drive people crazy. (Including myself) There’s a happy medium. Take care, Spacegirl, and thanks for being you. You’re awesome. I really appreciated your kind words.
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Awww. I do my best. 😊😊
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You explain it so well. It does the same to me when it hits. Hang in there and sending you hugs.
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I’m doing better. ☺ It has lifted. Thanks for the hugs.
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Praying for you! “Don’t let hope fade.” That is beautiful. I am so glad we can rely on Jesus to pull us out. I have been there too. And I know for a fact that there is definitely hope and Jesus will get us through.
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Thanks so much for the prayers, Bridget. Yes, He will. ❤
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Prayed for you little sister. When the spiral into depression comes, Jesus is still there with us. I want to share this song with you little sister
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Thank you so much. That’s the first time that song ever made me cry. Songs are funny that way. Sometimes you’re the one trying to comfort others and sometimes you’re the one who needs it. I’m a little of both this season.
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It is totally understandable being a little of both little sister. ❤️
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Don’t lose hope Tina! Andrew made a great point, the enemy likes to discourage us with his lies an effort to dim our light. Thanks for this encouragement not to lose hope. 🤗💛
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Yes, he sure does. His lies are even more convincing when you’re in that fog. Thanks, Dawn.
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