All the photos in this post were sent by my dad. You’ll find out more as you keep reading.
It’s a quiet afternoon as I sit and reflect. The sun was shining this morning, but by the time I got geared up to get out for a walk the sky was grey and a wind had picked up. The sun is officially out again at 5:11.
It was still good to get out. Being the weekend there were quite a few neighbors out. Some were sitting in lawn chairs. Others were out walking or working on their yards.
I remember a time when I was so content not to interact with anyone. I was so socially awkward and shy. I could easily get wrapped up in a hobby and preferred this to a point. Over the years as I began to open up that changed. Now, being too isolated can really bother me.
I can still get a bit shy, but it’s different. Before there was more anxiety. Now it’s more like I’m self-conscious of my quiet voice. When a neighbor says hello will they even hear my response? Will my voice crack if I try to speak louder? (lol) But I love to greet people, and it’s nice when they’re happy to reply.
There have been times when I’ve tried to say hello and my voice was just too soft that the person passing by didn’t even hear me. Even Andrew can mishear my words. Unfortunately, I’m always so much funnier when he mishears me. That’s not fair! (lol)
Right now, even just hearing someone’s voice is really nice. I had a long chat with my parents recently. Normally we don’t speak on the phone that often. They live close enough that they can visit, or we can visit them, and emailing my dad seems to be the thing I usually prefer. I’m just not a phone person. I hate awkward silences.
If you’re in a room with someone and there’s a silence it’s a little different. It can be comfortable just being together. Somehow over the phone it’s more painfully awkward. However, with parents it’s different, too, but I don’t usually have a lot to share. I’m not very gabby. Of course that’s difficult to tell from my writing, but writing and speaking are two different ball games.
I needed to hear my parents voices. For some reason I was really teary that day, and my dad kept repeating, “Let’s keep in touch.”
They’re doing okay. They’re home bodies, but they do miss their weekly outings, and of course there are no visitors. They don’t walk much, so there’s very little interaction with neighbors as well. After my phone call my dad emailed me some photos of their hanging baskets from 2018, but he mistyped and instead typed 2118. Of course I had to email him back and tease that their flowers will be lovely in the year 2118. He thought it was hillarious and wrote that I had a keen eye. (lol)
I don’t need glasses, yet, but my distance is going, I don’t see as well in the dark and my eyes don’t adjust quickly after reading or being on my tablet.
Andrew and I have been in this isolation boat ourselves for so long. Most of our closest friends have never lived close. It’s difficult to make friends when you aren’t able to consistently be part of a church or a community. So our closest friends are people we’ve met online who will keep in touch via email, messaging or sometimes Skype if I know someone well enough or I can muster up the courage! Even a really good email can usually warm my heart for days. So can a really nice blog post.
I hate being on video, though, unless I make a video for a friend or a blogging community, and even then I’m so self-conscious that I immediately start smirking a lot and have trouble coming up with something to say. Its been years since I’ve mustered up the courage. That’s the curse of being a writer over a talker, but let’s keep in touch. ☺
Pippi's Poetry 
My parents live a thousand miles away, so we do talk on the phone some. My father and I are not chatty. So twenty minutes is a long time on the phone for us. But my mother on the other hand, she can talk till the cows come home. And she doesn’t need anyone to answer, she can do all the talking by herself. LOL.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lol… well that’s nice! 😃 Someone has to be the chatty one. Andrew is much more chatty than I am, but if I get excited about something I can get chatty. Otherwise I tend to be more of a listener. That’s good ,too, you learn so much when you let others talk.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true!! 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi! Sounds great! (Keeping in touch) It seems like lately even a lot of blogging friends and Facebook friends have gone silent. I hope they’re all okay.
Your dad’s photos are really nice. The flowers are beautiful! Thanks for sharing! 💖
LikeLike
Thanks Ruth, yes I think some people have gone into hiding. I have one friend that told all of his Twitter friends that he wouldn’t be on because he can’t take all the talk about the pandemic. I understand that. If I read too much about it I want to hide too. But I’m always that way about talk that lacks positivity. It gets to me quickly.
LikeLike
I know what you mean about awkward silences on the phone. I have a couple of friends who do that to me, and even though I don’t have much trouble talking, I never know what I’m supposed to say at those times. With one of them (she’s nearly 85), I will finally say I’m going, but she starts talking again. We go through the process, come to the silence, I say I’m going, and she starts talking again. Sometimes I wonder if she has gone to sleep! But I have been on the phone a great deal checking up of certain people and just chatting away. This lock down has given me more time to just sit and do this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol… yes, phone conversations can be like that. That’s why I much prefer to be in the same room with someone. But that isn’t always possible, and now phoning is the only option. I guess it’s good practice, but I’m terrible at phone conversation for some reasons. Phones and cameras get me. I’m not nearly as bad in person, but I can still get a bit shy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t like cameras either, unless it’s in my hands pointed elsewhere. 🙂 I don’t really mind phone conversations when the person on the other end keeps up the conversation without those lulls.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am not much of a talk over the phone kind of person. But I can talk comfortably with a close friend over the phone. I would usually rather meet up or the other person at the end of the line has to be really chatty so there are no awkward silences.
My parents live far away and my mom usually does most of the talking and I just listen. She would ask me something and without waiting for much of an answer go on talking about something related or move on to a different topic.
LikeLike
Lol… Yes, it’s good that we have really chatty people in our lives. Andrew and I used to have this thing that if I went blank and went quiet he would step in and rescue me. But he used to be so eager to come to my rescue that I had to tell him that unless I am really desperate, he needs to wait until I give him the look. Lol. I needed the chance to get braver, and I didn’t want people thinking that Andrew never lets me speak. But really I used to want him to do the talking. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, wow! Kindred spirits indeed. Everything you shared here is so familiar, right down to being soft-spoken. Poor hubby is hard of hearing, so we have quite a time. 😉 Thank you for sharing this, Tina. Always helps to feel less alone. Blessings to you!
LikeLike
That’s exactly like my parents. My mom has to repeat herself quite a bit. Yes, it sure does help to feel less alone. Blessings back at ya! ☺
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling after reading your post little sister.
I think it would be so fun to have a conversation with you 🙂
LikeLike
Suddenly I want to hide again… lol. I haven’t video chatted with anyone in so long. I think the last time I did I got shy and Andrew did all the talking. I don’t make sense. I don’t know what it is about me an cameras.
LikeLiked by 1 person
with Zoom you can join with audio only no video
LikeLike
You can? Does anyone do that? Lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes
LikeLike
Hmmmm… I’ll think about it, but you chat quite early don’t you? There’s a three hour time difference between us, so that makes it even earlier for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What time zone are you in?
LikeLike
Pacific
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are two hours earlier than me. Is 8am your time too early?
LikeLike
I’d have to run it by Andrew. He’s not always up that early, but he may not mind if I join a chat while he’s asleep. I don’t know until I ask. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope you can join
LikeLiked by 1 person
I come from a close family but it revolved round mum. When she left we are still close but don’t see each other much. A couple of my sisters and I will speak on the phone every month os so. My other sister it’s the occasional text. My brother is even rarer texts now. Close but don’t see each other. That sounds odd. I know what you mean about making friends close by. Here it’s basically a bridge club and that’s it. That rules me out as I don’t play cards. I love the photos from the future.
LikeLike
My family used to be much closer. I rarely hear from my brothers. Emailing them is pretty hopeless, and it sounds like my dad has had trouble keeping tabs with a couple of them. So I guess that’s why he kept saying “Let’s keep in touch.” 2 of them don’t live near by. The eldest one actually lives fairly close. We were planning to take some photos together before this pandemic. Hopefully we will still get out and do that after things settle down again. He’s always been into photography. He could teach me a thing or two I’m sure, and it’s really been so long since we’ve been close.
Thank you. I really enjoyed reading your comment. ☺
LikeLike
Tina, what lovely flower photos. I also can be extremely shy until I know someone well. Awhile back I was in a bible study for almost 2 years before I felt comfortable talking. I am good listener. 😊 I love being behind the camera and taking photos, but avoid photos of myself. Sunshine and Blessings!
LikeLike
Well, it was really nice to see photos of you with your daughter and grandaughter. ☺ Sunshine and blessings back at ya. ☺
LikeLiked by 1 person
I understand the hatred of phone conversations. 😁 That’s me to a T. The only ones I can talk to without feeling awkward is my mom and grandma. (Btw reading the other comments I get the sense that a lot of people feel that way. 😁😅) And I’m pretty shy too when it comes to in person. Me: imma impress you with my social awkwardness 😂
LikeLike
Yayyyyy. Maybe most of us who write are socially awkward. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would not be surprised. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahhhhh I can soooo relate to all of this Tina!!! I’m not a phone talker at all!! And the video thing is totally awkward for me, especially zoom because there’s so many distractions.
I’m thankful you were able to interact with your dad, sounds like he must really enjoy connecting with you!❤️
Sometimes I have to intentionally remind myself that even though I may not enjoy talking over the phone some of my family and friends REALLY enjoy it and that means I have to submit so I can bless their desires….mom loves to talk over the phone, I don’t at all!! But here lately we’ve been doing FaceTime a lot because we finally have internet now that the kids are doing school from home, and to be honest I kind of enjoy the FaceTime thing❤️and I know my mama does!!
Take care sweet friend!!
LikeLike
Yes, I agree, sometimes you have to do things that you don’t necessarily enjoy, or even things that are a little out of your comfort zone. Sometimes to bless others, and sometimes to grow. Your take care, too, Ali! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person