All the photos in this post were sent by my dad. You’ll find out more as you keep reading.
It’s a quiet afternoon as I sit and reflect. The sun was shining this morning, but by the time I got geared up to get out for a walk the sky was grey and a wind had picked up. The sun is officially out again at 5:11.
It was still good to get out. Being the weekend there were quite a few neighbors out. Some were sitting in lawn chairs. Others were out walking or working on their yards.
I remember a time when I was so content not to interact with anyone. I was so socially awkward and shy. I could easily get wrapped up in a hobby and preferred this to a point. Over the years as I began to open up that changed. Now, being too isolated can really bother me.
I can still get a bit shy, but it’s different. Before there was more anxiety. Now it’s more like I’m self-conscious of my quiet voice. When a neighbor says hello will they even hear my response? Will my voice crack if I try to speak louder? (lol) But I love to greet people, and it’s nice when they’re happy to reply.
There have been times when I’ve tried to say hello and my voice was just too soft that the person passing by didn’t even hear me. Even Andrew can mishear my words. Unfortunately, I’m always so much funnier when he mishears me. That’s not fair! (lol)
Right now, even just hearing someone’s voice is really nice. I had a long chat with my parents recently. Normally we don’t speak on the phone that often. They live close enough that they can visit, or we can visit them, and emailing my dad seems to be the thing I usually prefer. I’m just not a phone person. I hate awkward silences.
If you’re in a room with someone and there’s a silence it’s a little different. It can be comfortable just being together. Somehow over the phone it’s more painfully awkward. However, with parents it’s different, too, but I don’t usually have a lot to share. I’m not very gabby. Of course that’s difficult to tell from my writing, but writing and speaking are two different ball games.
I needed to hear my parents voices. For some reason I was really teary that day, and my dad kept repeating, “Let’s keep in touch.”
They’re doing okay. They’re home bodies, but they do miss their weekly outings, and of course there are no visitors. They don’t walk much, so there’s very little interaction with neighbors as well. After my phone call my dad emailed me some photos of their hanging baskets from 2018, but he mistyped and instead typed 2118. Of course I had to email him back and tease that their flowers will be lovely in the year 2118. He thought it was hillarious and wrote that I had a keen eye. (lol)
I don’t need glasses, yet, but my distance is going, I don’t see as well in the dark and my eyes don’t adjust quickly after reading or being on my tablet.
Andrew and I have been in this isolation boat ourselves for so long. Most of our closest friends have never lived close. It’s difficult to make friends when you aren’t able to consistently be part of a church or a community. So our closest friends are people we’ve met online who will keep in touch via email, messaging or sometimes Skype if I know someone well enough or I can muster up the courage! Even a really good email can usually warm my heart for days. So can a really nice blog post.
I hate being on video, though, unless I make a video for a friend or a blogging community, and even then I’m so self-conscious that I immediately start smirking a lot and have trouble coming up with something to say. Its been years since I’ve mustered up the courage. That’s the curse of being a writer over a talker, but let’s keep in touch. ☺