New Beginnings (Hope)

It’s a new year. But where do I begin? 

When I woke Friday morning I was worried about the day ahead. I spent the days before in tears. However, Saturday afternoon there was a bit of a shift: some laughter and smiles surfaced. On Sunday I felt really low again. Then Monday I was worn, but had some smiles. Waves……

When I shared my last post I was struggling so much. I felt so burnt out. I’d started to experience a lot of anxiety and mood swings. Pushing myself to keep writing wasn’t working. At this point I just thought I was burning out. Maybe that was part of the problem. But there are so many other factors that have contributed to life not feeling so wonderful.

Three weeks ago I started taking an antidepressant. To be honest the idea of going on antidepressants terrified me. Do you know how difficult it is to take something that you’re reluctant to take? On the first day I told Andrew I was taking my poison. (Okay, that’s a bit funny). But I was seriously dreading it. Nevertheless, I was feeling desperate to calm my waves. A leap of faith is sometimes all you’re left with. 

I so want to write, share and read. I’ve sort of gone into hiding which isn’t recommended when you’re dealing with depression. I’m not sleeping well. So I’ve been feeling really worn. Regardless, I want and need a bit of community. I also need something positive to focus on and look forward to. However, fear began to rise as I took a look at my blog on Friday. Am I ready? Will the words come to me? Will I be overwhelmed? What if I push too hard too soon? I’m really great at going overboard and tremendously skilled at sinking. 

My final verdict? Well, it isn’t a water metaphor. I’m going to  take some baby steps and play it by ear. Maybe it IS a water metaphor. Who knows… perhaps I’ll learn to walk on water. I thought I was supposed to be learning to fly. So confusing. 

I won’t be enforcing a strict schedule. This means that I’ll only write and post when I’m truly feeling up to it and have something to share. I may not be able to keep up with everyone’s blog either. Prayers would really be appreciated. 

One of the songs which has really been comforting to me lately is the song below by Tenth Avenue North. The video below it explains why the band chose to write this song. I really like Mike Donehey. He made me smile so much with his teaching video. He’s funny and it’s so honest. I can relate. I’m sure there are so many that can. However, we still have this hope that God hasn’t abandoned us. Jesus is faithfully with us through it all even when it doesn’t feel that way.

Thanks for reading and being part of my crew. ❤ God Bless.

–Tina 

I Have This Hope

(Photo Credit goes to Pixabay.com user Comfreak)

26 thoughts on “New Beginnings (Hope)

  1. Welcome back, my friend! It is wonderful to hear from you. Please don’t worry about a schedule. Blogging should be fun, not pressure. So, I think it is perfect to post when you have something to share. I will keep you in my prayers as you seek healing and restoration. Thank you for sharing the videos. I have not heard this teaching before. What a comfort to have Jesus as our hope and to know that He is always with us! ❤

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  2. Tina, it is lovely to have you back! Take baby steps, keep an open posting schedule, and know that your blogging friends are praying for you. May 2021 bring you much happiness, hope, and peace! 💖🌺🦋

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  3. My sweet daughter it is so good to see you post again. Baby steps, step by step is okay. There is no pressure. Give yourself grace because God certainly does. He understands you. Jesus invites you to come to him and pour it all out to him. Love you 🙂

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  4. So good to hear from you Tina. You do whatever feels right for you and set your own pace. Don’t feels obligated to be in a schedule especially if you are not feeling up to it. We are right here for you.
    Baby steps sounds good.
    May the Lord provide all that you need Tina.

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  5. I smiled when I saw Pippi’s Poetry in my feed. Nobody else has that cute little bee 🐝 logo! I think I even said out loud, “She Baaack!”

    Sister Tina, I have been on anti-depressants a few times in my adult life. And for me it was more helpful than not. At this moment there is a bottle of anti-anxiety meds in my cabinet that I take as needed. I try to use them like “Break Glass in Case of Emergency,” but I’m glad they are there.

    I’ve missed your cheerful and honest voice, and look forward to reading whenever and whatever you choose to post.

    Prayers for a grace-filled 2021🙏. David

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    1. Thanks David. This made me smile. I don’t feel totally back. I definitely don’t feel entirely like myself yet. I’m very hesitant and insecure. I so want to be back up and buzzing though! 🐝 We’ll see what happens. Thanks so much for the encouragement and prayers. Looking forward to reading your posts as well. Take care and God Bless.

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  6. So thankful you put a post out here! I’ve missed you!! And you’re right to just post as things come to you, don’t overwhelm yourself just breathe, relax, write when you feel it and then enjoy…praying for you!!❤️

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    1. Thanks so much Ali. I’ve missed you too. Happy 2021 Mini Me. ❤❤❤🙂 So appreciate the prayers. You’re name is written down in my prayer journal. May 2021 be full of blessings for you and yours. ❤

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      1. Ahhhh that melts my heart in the best way ever reading that my name is written in your prayer journal. That seriously makes my morning!!!❤️

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